To Those Who Care for Others: We See You
- Acknowledging the Caregiver Journey: National Family Caregivers Month honors the millions of family members navigating the physical, emotional, and everyday realities of caring for a loved one.
- Road Scholar Caregiver Grants: Provides up to $2,000 toward eligible learning adventures priced at $2,500 in the U.S. and Canada, giving caregivers vital respite to rest and recharge.
- Eligibility for Recent Caregivers: Grants are open not only to active caregivers, but also to individuals whose caregiving journey concluded within the past two years.
- At-Home Educational Respite: For those who cannot travel away from home, Adventures Online scholarships offer interactive, multi-day virtual explorations of destinations around the globe.
It’s National Caregiver Month — and to kick it off, I’d like to tell you a story.
Last year around the holidays, I offered to take my Mum to Trader Joe’s to check out their seasonal offerings. (If you know, you know.) She had never been there and while her spirit definitely wanted to go, her mobility said otherwise.
I hate that Mum doesn’t want to go out because she thinks it’s too much of an inconvenience to take her. While she typically uses a rollator, we also have a wheelchair we can use in case of bad days or emergencies. I informed her I was more than happy to wheel her around Trader Joe’s, and that way she could take her time and check out all the goodies. While not thrilled about the wheelchair part, the promise of holiday plants and the store’s chocolate truffles won her over. (And let’s not forget about their cheese counter!)
We decided to embark on this trip on a Saturday morning. That was a rookie mistake. Trader Joe’s is usually packed on Saturday, let alone during the holidays. The parking lot was jammed, with customers walking out in front of the car as we slowly made our way down the alleys, but we managed to snag a handicap spot after a few laps. I then wrangled her (extremely heavy) wheelchair out of the car, struggled to set it up, and got Mum into it. We hadn’t gotten into the store and I hated to admit it, but I was already a little frazzled.
Inside, we were captivated by the holiday magic but also overwhelmed by the sheer number of people who were shopping. As we made our way down very crowded aisles, some folks gladly let us through while others were annoyed at having to accommodate. Mum held a basket on her lap that we filled up quickly, and when she could no longer hold any more, we knew it was time to get in line and get out of there.
By the time we left the store, I was sweating — and it was December. I got Mum back to the car and unloaded our groceries. I wrestled with the wheelchair and folded it back up, then heaved it into the back of our Honda. It was then that a woman approached me in the parking lot.
“Hi! I saw you in the store with your mom. I thought maybe you could use this. We had it for my mom and it really helped a lot.” She gave me a warm smile and handed me the item — it was a handle that you could use on your car door that allows a person to have an extra place to grip while getting themselves in the car. I had been meaning to get one and told her as much, then thanked her profusely. We wished each other a happy holiday and both went back to our cars.
Erika B.(right) and her mother(left).
It may seem like a small gesture in a very busy season, but it was a moment that has stayed with me. I saw you. And really what that meant were so many other things.
I saw you try.
I saw you love your mom.
I saw you struggle to lift an unwieldy wheelchair into a car (and I may have heard you swear a little.)
I saw that no one opened the door for you.
I saw how some people didn’t want to let you go down the aisles.
I saw you both have fun regardless.
I saw that you seem tired.
I saw you because that was me not so long ago — and now my mom isn’t here and I know how hard that is too.
What the woman in the Trader Joe’s parking lot said to me that day mattered and reminded me that the caregiver community is an amazing one. We seem to sense one another when we are out in public and make that extra effort to acknowledge this journey. We hold doors a little more often than we did before. We make sure to speak to the person in the wheelchair as well as the person who is pushing it. It reminds me of how people who own Harley Davidson motorcycles always wave to each other when on the road — it’s an exclusive club, one that you have to be in to really understand.
November is National Caregivers Month
While we observe Caregiver Month in November, it’s an unspoken fact that every month is Caregiver Month when you’re in the midst of taking care of a loved one. But while we have the floor, I hope you’ll take the opportunity to check out the offerings we have here at Road Scholar.
Two recipients of the Caregiver Grants on a Road Scholar program.
Road Scholar Caregiver Grants Offer Respite
Our Caregiver Grants are one of the best things (I think) that Road Scholar offers. They cover up to $2,000 towards the cost of a program in the U.S. or Canada priced at $2,500 so that you can have some much-needed respite. These grants have offered so many people a chance to rest and recharge, which in turn allowed them to return to their caregiving with a better sense of peace. Caregiver Grants are also available for people who were caregivers within the past two years. (If your caregiving journey is over, please still consider applying.) We’ll be telling stories about several caregivers this month here on our blog, so be sure to check them out.
Adventures Online Scholarships Help You Learn From Home
If you are not able to get away, Road Scholar also offers scholarships for our multi-day Adventures Online programs. With these programs, you can “travel” to places like Antarctica or Easter Island, all without leaving the comfort of your home. You’ll get to engage with other Road Scholars, just like on our onsite programs.
Free Online Lectures Offer Learning That Fits Your Schedule
For folks who have limited time to learn — or want something shorter that you and your loved one can enjoy together — our free lectures are a great option. You just need a laptop or tablet and internet connection to attend these lectures held on Zoom, all of which are led by our beloved experts. I have attended several and enjoyed each one. (Mum has recently expressed interest in a future art lecture, so we’ll be signing her up soon!)
Road Scholar’s Caregiver Group on Facebook Welcomes You
And if you simply would like to connect with other caregivers, our Caregiver Group on Facebook is a great place to meet other people who have been through similar things.
We See You, Caregiver
I know from experience that caregiving is a tough road to travel. There are days that are remarkable (like the ones where you get to have Trader Joe’s truffles and meet a nice lady in a parking lot), and there are days that are exhausting to the core. There are days when you feel isolated and wonder if you are making the right decisions. And there are moments when you wonder how you will get through another day.
All of the Road Scholar offerings that I mentioned above are simply options that are here when you need them or are ready to partake. But when the time is right, they are great opportunities for learning and meeting other folks who understand what you are going through.
Most importantly, I want you to know that I see you. That we see you. And we are holding the door open for you when you’re ready.
Erika Bouchard has been a writer and creative thinker at Road Scholar for more than 17 years. She lives in Massachusetts with her husband, mother and an incredibly spoiled tabby cat. When she’s not writing, you can find her somewhere in her gardens.