Barbara R. Finds Her Rhythm: A Caregiver’s Journey of Healing in New Orleans
- A moving story of a long-term caregiver who, after the loss of her husband, embarks on a journey of self-discovery with a Road Scholar Caregiver Grant.
- Follow her first solo travel adventure to New Orleans as she overcomes anxiety, finds a community of kindred spirits and rediscovers her own independence.
- Learn how an educational travel program focused on jazz, history and culture became a powerful, life-changing gift of healing, confidence and empowerment.
For nearly two decades, Barbara R. was more than a caregiver to her husband, Joel — she was his anchor. Through the quiet routine of early mornings and late nights, the retired social worker from Philadelphia met every challenge with a love that knew no bounds. Her story is a moving testament to the resilience and deep compassion that defines caregivers everywhere.
A Legacy of Learning Adventures
You could say that a passion for Elderhostel/Road Scholar runs in Barbara’s family. “My mother and father took programs on college campuses with spartan accommodations and thoroughly enjoyed those affordable adventures,” she shares. “That’s how I learned about the organization — we’re second generation.” Following in their footsteps, Barbara and her husband, Joel, enjoyed several Road Scholar learning adventures during their 42 years of marriage.
After Joel was diagnosed with mitochondrial myopathy in 2006, he and Barbara continued to fill their lives with the joy of discovery for as long as they could. They created cherished memories with Road Scholar exploring the art of Santa Fe and listening to the Boston Symphony Orchestra at Tanglewood. They shared a special behind-the-scenes look at the Metropolitan Opera. Their final adventure together in 2016 brought their shared passions into perfect harmony — a week at the Chautauqua Institute spent immersed in jazz lectures and performances, highlighted by an unforgettable concert by the Branford Marsalis Quartet.
It was during that final, joyful adventure at Chautauqua that a quiet reality set in. “That was our last ‘trip,’” Barbara says. She remembers the specific moment that signaled a new chapter was beginning: “Transferring Joel out of his scooter required me to help pull him up by grabbing onto his belt.” It was then they knew it was time to get a power wheelchair.
In Joel’s Best Interest
With a power wheelchair on its way, Barbara and Joel faced a difficult truth. “Our raised ranch was not handicap accessible unless we installed an elevator,” Barbara explains. Faced with a massive renovation, they chose a different path. While Barbara, six years younger, wasn’t ready to leave their home, she knew it was the right decision for Joel. In July 2017, they moved into a continuing care retirement community.
As the years went on, Barbara’s life became a testament to her love for Joel, a journey that reshaped her world in profound ways. “It was a journey of love and devotion, but one that slowly narrowed my world,” she says. The couple who once explored the world together now focused their resources on a different kind of journey. “We spent our money not on traveling, but on durable medical equipment —walkers, hydraulic seats, whatever he needed.” They even converted a van to allow Joel to drive from his wheelchair, a project aimed at preserving his independence. “The idea of indulging in travel for myself felt like an impossible luxury,” she shares.
A Path Forward
In the summer of 2019, Barbara discovered what felt like a lifeline: Road Scholar’s Caregiver Grants. Deep in her caregiving journey, she applied and received one, planning for a spring 2020 program that would be just for her. But the world had other plans. When the pandemic hit, the program — and her chance to step away, even for a moment — was gone.
Joel passed away in 2024. “The year that followed Joel’s death was a blur of grief, sleepless nights and the daunting question of how to rebuild my life,” Barbara shares. Compounding that heavy weight, she was also awaiting major surgery. In that difficult space, she knew she needed a glimmer of hope on the horizon. "I needed something to look forward to," she says. "That’s when I resurrected my Caregiver Grant application." This time, the application felt different. "It felt necessary."
Drawing on fond memories of Louisiana and her enduring love of jazz, she chose Independent New Orleans for her adventure. "The city called to me," she says. When she received news of the grant, it was a profound moment. "I was deeply touched," Barbara recalls. "It was the gift of a new beginning."
A Leap of Faith
In the weeks leading up to her program, Barbara threw herself into researching jazz clubs and restaurants. But as the time came to pack, the excitement gave way to a wave of anxiety. This would be her first time traveling solo, a journey without Joel by her side. A cascade of worries surfaced. Her husband had always been the one to carry the conversation; could she connect with people on her own? Would she have to eat every meal alone? Had she made the right decision to share a room with a stranger?
Instead of letting the fear take over, Barbara did something wonderfully proactive. She made a dinner reservation for four at GW Fins, a highly rated seafood restaurant, with the hope of inviting a few fellow travelers to join her. “It was my own little coping mechanism,” she explains.
Finding Kindred Spirits in the Crescent City
Barbara’s fears melted away at breakfast on the very first morning. “I quickly discovered I was surrounded by kindred souls — lovely, interesting people from all over the country,” she says. “I mentioned my dinner reservation, and to my immense relief, my invitation was eagerly accepted by two other solo travelers and a couple. The five of us bonded over an incredible meal.”
Barbara found her roommate to be a wonderful companion. “We looked out for each other all week,” she says. But the most significant connection she made was with herself. “I realized I didn't have to cling to one person; I could connect with different people without my husband by my side. It was a revelation. I discovered I could thrive on my own.”
Laissez les bons temps rouler
Based at the historic Hotel Monteleone in the heart of the French Quarter, the Independent New Orleans program was the perfect symphony of learning, discovery and freedom for Barbara. Each morning began with expert-led lectures, diving deep into the city's rich and complex cultural history. Afternoons offered a mix of guided tours and, just as importantly, the freedom to explore on her own. It was during these solo explorations that the city's visual magic truly captured her. “I was fascinated by the city’s distinctive architecture,” she says, “from the colorful shotgun houses to the intricate wrought-iron balconies of the French Quarter and the massive mansions lining the oak-shaded streets of the Garden District.”
All That Jazz
“The music, of course, was the highlight,” says Barbara. “My research paid off. I made a list of legendary clubs I wanted to visit, like The Spotted Cat, Snug Harbor, and the iconic Preservation Hall. And Lyndel, our Group Leader, gave us passes for Fritzel’s European Jazz Pub on Bourbon Street.”
When Barbara mentioned her plans to visit the jazz clubs, others were excited to tag along. “I became the unofficial jazz guide, leading a small group of new friends through the vibrant streets,” she says. “It was magical hearing that funky, soulful music in historic clubs, but just as thrilling to encounter performers on almost every street corner in the French Quarter.”
Unexpected Moments
In New Orleans, even a rainy day can lead to an unforgettable adventure. When a walking exploration was rained out, their incredible group leader, Lyndel, didn't miss a beat. She quickly arranged for a friend to give the group of 24 a private, last-minute presentation on the magic of Mardi Gras. Her friend arrived in full, dazzling regalia, with a personality as vibrant as her costume, and shared a captivating slideshow revealing the fascinating backstories of the parade krewes who build the famous floats. "It was even better than what we had planned," says Barbara.
The Journey Within: A New Beginning
For Barbara, this learning adventure was about so much more than jazz and jambalaya. It was a powerful affirmation that she could not only manage on her own but truly thrive. “For so long, my world had been small. This experience gave me the confidence to travel on my own, to navigate a new place and to trust in my ability to connect with others. It was an empowering step toward finding my way forward,” she explains.
“I feel a bit braver now. I successfully and safely traveled away from home, and I didn’t just cope — I thrived,” she says. “The Caregiver Grant gave me the chance to get out into the world again and to be nurtured after a long period of giving so much of myself. I’m motivated to do more traveling, more exploring and more living. This journey was truly a gift, and it’s one I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life.”
This Giving Tuesday, December 2, your support will enable ten more caregivers like Barbara to experience a Road Scholar learning adventure. Help us reach our $20,000 goal on December 2 so that 10 more caregivers can engage in a life-changing Road Scholar program in the new year.