When You Just Click: Finding a Life-Long Travel Mate

Many more responses continued to come in. But this is no surprise — traveling with a group of strangers is a good way to find people like oneself. We are people who love to travel, and that’s a major thing to have in common. 

On my first few Road Scholar adventures, I met folks who were traveling with each other because they were partners or relatives or friends. Then I began to discover that a lot of people originally met on Road Scholar programs. Some now travel with a buddy who was also solo and some with an entire cadre. 

What Makes People Bond? 

I’ve read blogs and articles about traveling solo with a group, but what happens after the group disperses? What makes some people game for further shared travels?  I met one trio in Cuba, and they told me that they had bonded immediately on a previous program. They then met up in New York City to see Hamilton. Then, they headed off to Africa. I asked them about what made them click. According to one member of the group, it was “snarkiness,” or a similar sense of humor, that brought them together.

From my experience, travelers need a sense of humor to overcome obstacles or just to face unexpected differences in lifestyle, language, food and even bathroom facilities in other countries. And of course, misunderstandings (and worse) are often funny in retrospect, especially after one is home and cozy. After I returned from Cuba, it took me more than a week to realize that I had been introducing my baby cousin as mi sobrina (which means my niece) instead of mi prima, which means my cousin. It could have been worse, though. (Mi padre? Mi hija?)

Shared — and Different — Interests

What travelers have in common may range from interests in hiking, boating, bird watching and painting to archaeology, nature exploration and travel with grandchildren. Of course, one’s interests may have nothing to do with travel. You may share similar personal histories, locations or past experiences. 

On the other hand, having nothing in common sometimes provides the spark. You and your travel buddy may have completely different lifestyles or goals. That can make friendship come alive as well. On my first Road Scholar program to Mount Rushmore, I made fast friends with someone who lived on a farm in the northwest (I am a city person from the east who loves feeling concrete under my feet). But we loved talking to each other, and perhaps our friendship was successful because we had so much to teach each other about our different lives.

The intensity of travel and a compressed timeframe sometimes accelerate friendship. We can see how someone reacts to challenges and how patient they are.

While most of the replies to my post were about solo women bonding with other women, a number of them were about couples finding other couples with whom to travel. Couples may seem to be a community of two and not open to friendship, but that’s often not the case. Most people are looking to connect with new friends. 

Going Where You Want and How You Want 

I would always tell my daughter that if she wanted to travel, she did not need to wait for friends to go exactly where or how she did. And that was a major reason I traveled on my own through my 30s and 40s.

Now that I’m older, I’m discovering that there are other ways to go where you want and with whom you want. All it takes is for one travel buddy to text or message: “Hey, let’s all go to Costa Rica!” and there will likely be those who are eager to jump aboard, perhaps changing your (and their) lives forever.